Lifeinvader

Birthday: 1970 Relationship Status: It's complicated

Sex: Female Interested in: Yoga, tennis, health, my family

Religious Views: - N/A Political Views: - N/A

About: Mother of 2 and wife to a psychotic murderer who I love.

"Everything's going to be fine, baby." Yes, honey, until an army of psychos invades your home...

I'm a movie producer's wife now :)

Jimmy might actually get a job and Tracey might actually go college. What is going on???

Giving it another try. He's a philandering selfish untrustworthy psychopath of a man, but he's my philandering selfish untrustworthy psychopath.

If he says "Namaste" or "impacted" again, I might scream.

How can any man be this obsessed with my rectum, and not in a fun way?

Maybe I'm doing it wrong, but this tantric sex just feels like sitting for a long time with a tampon in.

Fabien talked through the entire couples colonic AGAIN.

Fabien appreciates my inner and outer beauty. Michael never noticed either.

I wasted my best years on that man. Well this is MY time!

I am done with this excuse for a life. I deserve more.

You've done the right thing. That man is a tangled ball of negative energy.

Just when I think hell can't get any worse, in walks the devil.

I have to say your home life is not that zen

Shoplifting? Isn't one criminal enough in this parenting duo?

fyi dad just attacked those porno guys you rented the house to last summer

Long time no see. The years have clearly been kinder to you than they have to Michael. You've got the body you never had when you were 20.

The tennis guy? Way to go, mom. Real classy.

My insecure jealous husband takes his next victim...

My schedule's wide open let me know when he isn't around.

Great session today. Always a pleasure working with you. And I WILL call you Amanda :)

This guy Gary that Tracey is seeing is the definition of a loser. He makes Jimmy look like a gigolo.

Where did you get your breasts done again?

That's a killer forehand you're developing, Mrs De Santa! Same time next week?

A daughter staring at a phone, a son staring at a game, a husband staring a TV - and they're all stoned. Just another Tuesday morning at the De Santas.

Do not fear the unknown. Be the now. Namaste.

Has anyone done this POW Cleanse? www.thepowcleanse.com

I'm concerned. We haven't scheduled you for a procedure in over six months. If you aren't unhappy with the last wave of collagen work, please let me know. I'd be happy to discuss some alternatives.

I seriously think Jimmy might be a bulimic who's forgotten to purge

Credit card wars on Portola Drive tomorrow?

My gyno just asked if I sent Tracey in by mistake - love that guy!

Those bastards messed up my prescription again! I will destroy them!

How many drunk Rockford Hills women does it take to change a lightbulb? Six & 3 cute firemen! Lightbulb still needs changing, btw :)

Where did I go wrong with my kids? Actually, don't answer that.

Let me walk you along the path to your sacred place.

The doctor says that Jimmy's 'rash' is from over friction.

Any oddjobs need doing again this summer, Mrs De Santa? I've got my driving license now.

Stinks of weed in this house!

Did you speak to you husband about signing up for another 6 private classes? For you, just $2000!

I got your voicemail. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to offend you with the Tracey comment.

Just bumped into Tracey. She is SO like you!

You and Mike wanna come over for fondu at the weekend? Or is he still in a mood?

I'm in my room, can't get to phone. Ate a whole bag of cake batter, might need a medic.

I think I went a little overboard with the bleaching. Hope I can sit down ok for my hair appointment.

I love the way that maid looks at me like I'm the help. Yeah, well if you want vacation pay, senora, declare some taxes.

New Gammi Forapundo handbag. Best $3000 Michael ever spent.

LifeInvader

Amanda De Santa

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